Remined yourself everyday

[..............]

TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. LOOK AT YOURSELF
AND SEE HOW YOU LOOK DIFFERENT (if you have a cleft palate and
lip ect) DON;T BUG PEOPLE IF THEY ARE OVER WEIGHT OR FUNNY
LOOKING. YOU DON;T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE TEASE YOU SO DON'T TEASE
THEM.

[amgula]

I found your posting to be very interesting. The basic point
you make is a good one, however, is should apply to ALL people,
not exclusively people who were born differently.



Having been born with a bi-lateral cleft lip and palate 32
years ago, I've had to go through much condemnation and ridicule
growing up. This, unfortunately is just a fact of life. Kids can
be especially cruel, and surprisingly, so can some adults. The
teasing I experienced began when I was very young, completely
trusting of everyone and never knew anything about judging
people. Maybe what you are referring to in terms of judging that
you seem to have experienced, is a reaction from people such as
myself, who, upon being harrassed all our lives, lose sight of
trusting people and the ability to communicate without feeling
judged themselves. It's called a defense mechanism. A lot of kids
go through this(who were born with and even without birth
defects). They will take the focus off themselves by critizing or
judging someone else. It's not right, it should not be acceptable
behavior, but it is a normal reaction. Most people born with some
abnormality outgrow their defensiveness during their adulthood.
To the people who were born without an abnormality: grant
lenience to those who were. IT ISN'T EASY. Would you want to
trade places and then report your feelings? I think not.



I don't know if you were born "different" as you
describe. From how the aggressive posting was written, it doesn't
seem so. The underlying message in it is a good one, and in my
opinion should be directed more to people who were not born with
a defect, and to those who do judge. I find that I judge people
far less than any of my friends, family, associates. I believe
that this IS because I was (and still am) judged so often. So, I
think it is unfair to direct such a message soley to this
discussion board, when in fact, people who do not "look
different" should be the ones to be reminded. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I must express my feelings on this matter. I was not born with
a cleft of any kind (my daugter was however) although i was not
born with any defect this did not save me from ridicule at school
as instead of a defect i developed terrible acne. i was teased so
horrible i ended up quitting school. my point being, im not sure
anyone is safe from being teased with or without a defect. we all
look different in our own way and not everyone appreciates the
difference. however now that i am an adult i find myself so much
more caring and understanding and aware of other peoples feelings
in a way i probably wouldnt have if i wouldnt have gone through
what i did. i certainly wouldnt want to re-live those school days
but in a way i think i am a stronger person because of it! i have
bad scarring on my face so i still sometimes find adults are just
as rude as children can be but never the less i have so far lived
my life to the fullest and dont have any regrets and certainly do
not feel sorry for myself! plus i think my own experiences can
help my daughter when she is older since she has a cleft. SCHOOL
ISNT EASY FOR ANYONE!

[aislinn]

You asked me about my comment if I was different. I am I have
a cleft lip and palate. I go to high school and I notice it if
more the adults who stare and point not the people I go to school
with. The kids may talk behind my back though. I don't think it
is right to tease because you don't like it when somone does it
to you.